30 Apr You Got the Skills (Excerpt from Coordinating Chaos)
“Everything you need – you have right now. Inside you. All the skills you need to blow this mom thing out of the water and create the amazing life you want for yourself and your family – are inside you, right now, as we speak. You just need to tap into them. Working through the things we talked about in previous chapters will really help you start to establish some of these new patterns you want to set up in your life, but in order to do that, you need to realize – and believe – the truth about your capabilities.
We can do all the organizing and scheduling and setting up systems we want – but if we don’t have the right mindset, our subconsciouses are going to keep pulling us back and push us back in to the patterns we have always had. Why? Our minds are designed to protect us and keep us alive. They resist change – with a passion – because change is unknown, and our minds function in what is ‘known.’ They know that the patterns you had and habits you did yesterday – didn’t kill you – so those are ‘safe.’ When you try to incorporate new patterns or systems, it goes against the programming you set up previously in your subconscious. All this new stuff you are trying to do – pushes against what is known to be safe. So your subconscious freaks out and does things to sabotage your growth, things to pull you back to the safety of your comfort zone.
For example, have you ever had something really great happen in your career, and within minutes of receiving the good news, you start feeling inadequate or stressing out about how much work the new position is going to be?
Or, you had a really productive day and enjoyable day with your kids – everyone did most of all of the things they needed to do and had pretty pleasant attitudes, but then you burn the dinner and might as well throw the whole day out in the trash with the charcoaled dinner?
Or, you had a really nice time with your husband on a date, and then you for some ridiculous reason you pick a fight on the way home about something that isn’t even important?
Our minds try to pull us back down to our status quo by sabotaging any new patterns, including happiness, growth, and new habits. Yah, it’s crap. But!! Good news: We do have the ability to reprogram our patterns with ones that support the life we want to create.
We just have to recognize the negative patterns we have developed. Be aware. Realize that these patterns are not serving us. Then we need to do the work to reprogram the thoughts and habits that are holding us back – into positive thoughts that will help us move forward. Yes it takes work, and it also takes courage. It’s hard to face negative things that you’ve believed about yourself for years. These thoughts and patterns – are what you are used to. They are comfortable, and your subconscious knows that. But if you want a life of growth, positivity and abundance you have to face these unserving beliefs and call them out as the lie that they are. And then replace them with the truth.
I didn’t realize how terrible of a mindset I had, or how much it was holding me back. I have learned and grown so much in the last couple years as I have been uncovering the truths about the limiting beliefs of a scarcity mindset. And since it was a big issue for me – I thought it might be something that you need to hear too.”
Check out the rest in my book Coordinating Chaos!