Who said? (excerpt from Coordinating Chaos)

Who said? (excerpt from Coordinating Chaos)

“Fill in the blanks. Moms have to _________. To be a good mom, I have to ____________. Alicia has five kids, a full time job, and a business and she doesn’t look like a frizzle- frazzle, so I must be doing _________ wrong.

Somewhere along the line of becoming a mom, these weird Mom expectations were set up in our minds. These unrealistic, unreachable expectations. And who the heck told us that we ‘have’ to live up to certain things or ‘do’ certain things as moms? Ummmmm… everyone. We get info from everywhere that sets up expectations in our subconscious of what a ‘good’ mom does, or doesn’t do. Ideas from society, social media, your husband and family, your childhood, or maybe even from yourself, create these ideals in our heads and we buy them as truth. Because they are not actual truth, and are SO lofty, we will never be able to live out these insane expectations – which will lead to us feeling like we are not good enough.

I, for sure, had some unrealistic expectations that I adopted from society, my background, and put on myself. Because they were unrealistic and unattainable, when I couldn’t meet all those expectations and opinions, it led to feeling shame, disappointment, or getting angry at everyone around me. I felt that I was dropping the ball. I felt that I wasn’t capable. I felt that I wasn’t a good mom, wife, or friend. Which of course is a big load of bologna- and we know that in our head, but it feels different in our heart.

Doesn’t this sound ridiculous to you? Why are we baseing so much of what we believe about ourselves on the opinions and unrealistic expectations of others? A lot of whom, we don’t even know? I really don’t know the answer to this, but mama friends, it’s time for us to call this out for what it truly is – a big fat lie.

These ideas of what we are ‘supposed’ to do or how we are ‘supposed’ to be… are all just lies to keep us overwhelmed, to keep us stuck, to make us play small. And that is not the life we were meant to live. You got big things ahead of you, and some fabulous people to raise. So girls, it’s time to stop buying into these opinions and absurd expectations – from others, from your family, and from yourself. The opinions and expectations of others DO NOT define the roles and responsibilities you need to take on as a mom. YOU define who you are and what you do as a mom.”

Check out the rest in my book Coordinating Chaos!