Mom Tribes (excerpt from Coordinating Chaos)

Mom Tribes (excerpt from Coordinating Chaos)

“One of my favorite truthbombs is that none of us mamas have it all together. It’s super comforting. We all don’t have it together, together. One of the best parts about life is that ‘togetherness.’ None of us have to do it on our own. And we’re not supposed to. We were built for relationships – and especially as women, we need that connection with other like-minded women to help us feel sane and empowered.

We all know a woman’s perspective is a whole lot different than a man’s. Oh – yep, I can actually hear the head nods and the eye rolls. Guys just do things differently and think about, well, actually most EVERYTHING differently. You could talk to your husband all day long (I don’t know if he would want to listen that long- mine wouldn’t) but it’s not going to fill the same needs as talking to a girl friend.

It’s even more important as moms to find that sounding board – a group of mom friends that you can share with, cry with, vent to, and get advice from. We mommas are in the same boat. We know how mom life feels. And being understood, being heard, and being valued – by other moms who get it – helps us not feel like the craziness of momlife is gonna take us under.

You can have all the strategies and routines ready to go, but here is one more hugely important part of our mom tool belt that we need probably more than anything else: our Mom Tribe.

A Mom Tribe is more than just finding a group of women… it’s knowing that you have a group of friends that are there through it all. A group of rad chicks who understand it all, because they’ve either been there, or are there right now, with you, doing all the things. There is power in friendships where you just understand what the other one is going through – like you have actually experienced something similar. You can empathize and offer legit advice, from your first hand experiences. Being able to reach out and find that support takes some of the questions out of the enigma that is motherhood.

This mom thing was not meant to be done as a solo-mission. We’ve all heard the ‘it takes a village’ idea about raising kids – which is a super over used phrase, but girl, it’s pretty true. Raising children and being a mom is one of the hardest things – we need our mom friends to help us through. To help us feel understood, valued, and seen.

If you are feeling isolated at home with your kids, or lonely, or that you don’t have a mom tribe – you need to find one. You are a rad chick – and your mom peeps are out there. You are gonna have to put yourself out there, which can be scary. But by being authentic and vulnerable, you will find the friends that will help you feel sane, loved, and empowered to keep on doing your mom thing.

If you don’t know where to begin finding your tribe, church moms groups are a great place to start. Most local churches will have a moms group- or a few – so you can give them a try and see if you fit. Social media groups are another great choice. There are a boatload of mom Facebook groups where you can schedule meetups and playdates. You can also look for some cool mom friends at your kids’ sports and activities. Since you are all at practices and games together – you will have a lot of time to chat and connect. Plus – no one understands you more than other moms with kids in the same sports, with the same crazy schedules. Ask any PeeWee football or cheer mom and they will confirm this as true. It might take time to find your tribe – and that’s ok – just don’t give up looking. You need them, and they need you.

Bottom line, we moms all understand the ins and outs, the crazy and wacky, the busyness and hecticness, of raising people. We need one another because we ‘get’ it. So we need to band together, form our tribe, and support each other as we do life. This is part of what makes life doable – doing it together.”


Check out the rest in my book Coordinating Chaos!