01 Mar A Letter from my Daughter
Caite handed Brandon a letter to give to me back on February 2nd. He brought it in to our room for me to read and the letter starts out “Dear Santa.” I rolled my eyes, folded it up, and put it aside. For real??? We are getting Santa letters ALREADY? It’s frickin February for goodness sakes.
The letter sat on my dresser folded up, next to my bed for a few weeks, unnoticed, unread, un-sent to Santa.
A few days ago I was straightening up (as I like to do) and picked up the Santa letter and read it. Then, I sat down on the floor and cried.
Here is the letter:
“Dear Santa… This year I don’t want anything big. Maybe a hover board or ipad. But that is not really what I want. Maybe some gift cards to seven eleven, Itunes, and some date out gift cards. You might say Caite what you going going to do with date out gift cards. Well you see my mom works way too much. My dad also works but my mom well I think that she works way more. So I want to lower that down for her so she gets more time to spend with us and extra time for her to get massages. So maybe some as well. Thank you, Love Caite.
Please put a note in my mom’s stocking to tell her I planned this all by my self. The date was 6/2/2019. Thank you very much Santa Claus – Caite. P.S. I would also want a iPad. Thank you once again.”
Is this like straight out of a Hallmark Christmas movie or something? Don’t you feel like you would see this letter get sent to Santa by the kids and he would come down from the North Pole, do some Santa magic and the mom wouldn’t have to go to work as much? (Side Note: If anyone knows the contact info for the Hallmark Christmas movie writers, send it my way).
This letter to Santa from my sweet daughter, cut right down to the core of my issues and then broke my heart – because it is so sweet and kind, and because it also shown a big ol’ spotlight on the real desires of my heart.
Now, I am a driven gal. I always take on a bunch of tasks and work and challenges. That’s me. And clearly, (see exhibit A: Santa letter) my kids see that too. I love showing them that example of work ethic. I like them knowing they can do hard things and overcome challenges. But with each addition of a child to my family, I have wanted more and more to be a ‘work at home’ mom. I still wanna work, I still want to show them those same lessons but I also want to be able to go to my kids’ school and class and do mom stuff. I want to spend the time with my kids while they want to spend time with me. I do like working, but I don’t like feeling like I’m missing out on so much by having to leave the house to do it.
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE teaching the High Schoolers – they are super cute – but my mama heart is broken by the fact that I have so many kids at home, but have to miss giant chunks of their lives.
They say if you think about your true purpose in life, the real goals that you want to accomplish, the reason behind doing whatever you are doing – that it should make you cry. And that is exactly why reading this letter made me cry. My first and most important purpose in life is to be a momma to these 5 people. They are the reason why I do everything. And even now as I type this, my eyes are filling up. This is my ‘why’ for starting a business and sharing it. This is the goal I am working toward. And while it means that I have to work a little harder right now, the hope is that sooner than later I will be able to spend more time with the kids and be that work at home mama that I truly desire to be.
I know that the day will come that this is a reality, I just hope that day comes quickly. And while I am working and waiting, maybe I WILL send this letter off to Santa and get a date night or massage gift card out of it.